Looking for true friends in city

It's hard to get true friends in the city, especially when you have started your working life. You can't appreciate the meaning of true friends anywhere better than the city.

I had a friend who stays close to my hostel room during the university days. We were quite close to each other back then as I always dropped by his room for casual chats. We nearly lost touch after graduated as both of us are busy traveling and working. (there is no Facebook yet back then) However, I tried contacting him a year after we graduated. The conversation sounds like this:

Me: Hey, brother, how are you doing?

My friend: I am fine. How about you?

Me: I am fine too. Just thought of catching up with you, have time for a cup of tea?

My friend: Sure, but what you want to SELL to me?

Me: Huh? SELL to you? I am not selling anything to you, just catch up with you and have a gathering.

My friend: Sure or not? You are the first person who told me this after graduated.

Me: .............................................

It's not hard to come across "long-lost" friends who calls you for a "tea-session". I have friends who calls me up to introduce insurance plan, MLM, "investment-link", credit cards, mortgage plan, Iraq dinars, fitness membership (by the way,i heard YogaZone got into trouble lately), get-rich-quick scheme, discount vouchers, magazine subscriptions etc., you name it. Some called me for help to ease their cash flow problems or borrow my car for emergencies. I gave in most of the time. Everyone needs a rice bowl to survive in this city. If you can help your friends not at your expense, why not ? This explains why I had applied more than 10 credit cards.(which most of them I had canceled to date)

City is a cold place. Leaving your hometown for opportunities in the city can be depressing especially if you do not have true friends in your city life. Your parents and siblings are not there to give you a listening ear or a helping hand. Coping with city and working stress alone is definitely not easy.

"无事不登三宝殿" (wu2 shi4 bu4 deng1 san1 bao3 dian4, it means people don't look for you without a reason). I can truly appreciate this Chinese proverb now which existed since 5000 years back. 90-95 % of your friends are mostly "business-related" . It's a norm as everyone in city fights for survival and might not have much time for you on non-beneficial activities. I am fortunate to have a few true friends which consists of my ex-classmates, ex-house mates, ex-uni mates, ex-colleagues and CG (cell group) members. I appreciate them a lot for their support, listening ears and helping hands in needy times. So , how can you get true friends in the city?

1. True friends shares similar values

You might might share different stories with true friends but you always find it interesting to listen to their stories. You might not have the same dream and vision but you are always keen to know how they think.

2. True friends tells you the truth

Conversation with friends tend to be superficial especially in city. There is typical two types of answers when they are asked about their current life. "Business is extremely good and life is great like never before" or "I am not as good as you la" . True friends shares their success and struggles with you.

3. True friends thinks of you when they need someone to listen to

I give "platinum status" to all my true friends. I never cease listening to their problems and trouble, because I felt privileged to be the first group of people they think of when they need someone to talk to.

4. True friends thinks of you when they have something nice to share

Be it a nice dumpling or home cooked dessert, they always call you up to share nice things with you.

I always encourage my friends to join my CG(cell group). One of the reason I liked my cell group a lot is because most of us comes from foreign states. We share the same feeling of not having our family members around, we share the same stress of coping with city life.

True friends can be found in groups of people with same hobby or ideology as well. You can find a true friend even in the driving range. You might also meet a true friend during a back-packing tour. True friends can even be found from blogsphere as you might share the same ideology,passion and values with other bloggers.

Last but not least, business partners can also be true friends if both parties are not selfish in nature. Anyway, you do not want to have a selfish business partner, right?

To all my true friends, i dedicate this post to you,:).